Battlestations

In the third person, in honor of Rickey Henderson: Havok had a dream last night that he was on an army base with a bunch of soldiers and some civilians. Civilians kept dying in weird ways. Havok thinks the cast of Reno 911! was there. Havok isn't sure if the dream was farcical or serious, but people were dying a lot. No one seemed to care. Eventually, planes and fast moving helicopters started dropping bombs on the army base...then Havok was scared.

Clearly, Bolgger and I are still getting to know each other. I'm sure we'll work out the kinks sooner or later. Bear with us both in the process.

Have I mentioned my kick ass ideas for weddings? Here are three you can have/ have without asking:

1) The bride comes out first (breaking with tradition, I know) dressed as Princess Leia. A lot of rebel soldiers are with her. Then Stormtroopers come out and kill all the rebel soldiers in a reenactment of the opening to Episode IV: A New Hope. Then, Vader's music plays and out comes the groom. Wedding proceeds as normal.

2) Ask all your friends to create old-school science fair exhibits made out of those cardboard stands highlighting moments in their relationship with you. You could put them all on display before the wedding so people are bored. Then, you could move them to the reception so the nerds and social outcasts had somehwere to hide and have awkward sex with each other. Because it would be like a maze....only no Minotaur. Leading to a funny/ obnoxious joke where you point at your mother-in-law and say, "The Minotaur got out!"

3) Instead of ring bearers, use actual bears. This is expensive and a little dangerous. It would be nice if you could drain the bears and wipe blood on their lips and have scraps of a small tuxedo stuck to them. Then people might wonder if the ring bear had eaten the ring bearer.

Last time I checked, this was still America.

PS: It was decided last night that the most unattractive thing a girl can do on a first date is not snorting, but shitting her pants. True story.